逆风笑游戏视频中的BBQ的生活照谁有？

微博上有~

那位大神能帮忙大概翻一下这篇文章，有关微博病的，翻成英语

太难了吧！
不少潮语连译作史文也有不定性，何况转英文？
像英语的"Freeze"本来只解作"冷冻"，但在俚语中会变成"不许动"……上文的"粉我哦"，怎译……

微博病患者Weibo Patients
01:23：月光很好。失眠。赵家的狗又在狂吠，一定有什么事情发生。
Moonbeam is good. Insomnia. Zhao's dog barking now, there must be somethins....
01:36：微博是一种病。它毁了我的生活。
Weibo is a disease. It ruined my life.
01:45：自从有了微博，就没好好地看过一场电影。电影开始前发微博，开始后发微博，看到好笑的地方发微博，看到好看的地方发微博，看到感动的地方发微博，看到看不下去的地方发微博，看到好电影发微博，看到烂电影发微博……结果，这些年，我没看一部电影，那些年，我只发了微博。其实，没人在乎我看了什么。
Ever since I join the Weibo, not really watch a movie anymore. Sending Weibo at the begining, in watching, in funny, in touching, in a place that you can't stand for, in a good film, in a bad one.... As a result, all these years, I did not see a movie, in those years, I just made a "Weibo". In fact, no one cares what I have read.
02:03：自从有了微博，就没有好好地吃过一顿饭。吃大盘鸡要发微博，吃拌面要发微博，吃烤肉要发微博，啃个馕要发微博，吃方便面也要发微博，没得吃还要发微博……结果，这些年，我什么也没吃，那些年，我只发了微博。其实，没人在乎我吃了什么。
Ever since I join the Weibo, not really have a meal. Sending Weibo while eating Taipan Chicken, eating noodles, eating BBQ, chewing or even nothing to eat.... as a results, all these years, I did not eat anythins, all those years, I just made a micro-Bo. In fact, nobody cares about what I eat.