2分钟的英语视频！！求翻译。

I don’t really know how to thank the academy for this, and if I try, will be here till Christmas; so I’d better get on. Before I came, I went to the Jane Austen’s grave in Winchester Cathedral to pay my respect you know and tell her about the grouses. And er…I don’t know how she would react to an evening like this, but I do hope, I do hope she knows how big she is in Uruguay. And profound thanks to Columbia Pictures and a lovely form of Lisa Hanson, Garret and Mark Kenton for hiring a first time writer, and to James Somers for his rare intelligence, and for Sydney Pollack asking the right questions like why these women cannot go out and get a job, and why indeed! And to the cast and crew for being impeccable, and to my friend and my teacher, Lindsay Doran, for being the single most frustrating reason for why I can’t claim all the credit to myself. And finally I would like, with your permission, to dedicate this Oscar to our director, Ang Lee. And wherever you are, this is for you !

翻译：大会颁这奖项给我，我真的不知如何表达感谢，如我尝试这么做，直到圣诞节来临也没完，因此，我还是继续吧。来这之前，我去了温切斯特大教堂拜祭Austen并向她发牢骚，倾诉我的委屈。我不知她对这个晚会有怎样的反应，但我希望，真的希望她知道她在南美洲也是多么地受欢迎。十分感谢哥伦比亚公司和美丽的Lisa,感谢Garret，Kenton聘用我这个写作新手，James的绝顶才智，还有Sydney提出的许多正确的问题，比如为何这些女人不出去找份工作呢？确实，为什么呢？还要感谢其他演员及剧组人员和我的朋友兼老师Doran，她是我不能独自坐享这份荣誉的最烦恼原因。最后，请允许我将这个奖献给我们的导演李安；无论你在何处，这是给你的！

【英语牛人团】

听译英语两分钟视频

大哥，这个为什么要翻译……百分之80的时间都是“啊……，不要……”之类的。前面就是让那个亚洲孩子呆在哪里，他是要被挠痒痒的，然后叫另外几个孩子，告诉他们他们是负责挠痒痒的，然后就没什么需要翻译的了。

不知道你是要这种的翻译还是要字幕一样每一句话的翻译，后者显着很无语……顺便说佩服这个小孩，要是我早就死了。

英语短剧，两分钟左右的，搞笑一点，然后5个人

The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.
"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.
"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

英语两分钟才艺表演

The Monkey and the Peaches
One day, a monkey was looking for food. He came to a fence. There were a lot of big peaches inside the fence. The monkey tried to get into. But he failed. At last, he found a hole in the fence. But the hole was too small for him to go through.
“What should I do?” the monkey thought. He wandered around the fence.
Day after day, the monkey became thinner and thinner. At last, he could get through the fence.
He ate a lot of peaches. So became fatter and fatter.
He wanted to go outside, but the hole was too small for him. He couldn’’t eat any more! He waited and waited. Eventually, he became thin enough to go out.

2、猴子和桃子
一天，一只猴子正在观察食物。他来到一个篱笆前。有很多大桃子在篱笆里。猴子试着进去，但是他太胖了。最后，他发现有一个洞在篱笆上。但是洞太小，无法进入。
“我该怎么做？”猴子想。他在篱笆外绕来绕去。
日复一日，猴子越来越瘦。最后，他能通过篱笆了。
他吃了一堆桃子，所以他变得越来越胖。
他想出去，但洞口对于他来说太小了。他不能吃任何东西了！他等啊等，最终，他变得非常瘦，出去了。